Comparing yourself to others destroys the joys of life. It prevents you from being who you are because you are preoccupied with what others are doing. Comparing yourself blinds you from realizing that you are a unique individual. And there is nothing wrong with that, being unique is the absolute best thing you could do because that is when you are true to yourself.
To this day, I still battle with comparing myself to others. For many years, it was hard to make and maintain friends because comparing myself resulted in me feeling envy. Instead of being happy for my friends when good things happened, I wasn’t. I would get angry and jealous. If you don’t think other people, especially your closest friends, feel your negative energy– think again, I guarantee they do.
I have a friend that lives her life comparing herself to others. Gracefully, she has gotten better in the past year. She realized that comparing herself was the reason for her extreme anxiety and depression for almost two years. She was comparing herself to those who were moving along and doing well in their career, getting engaged or married.
When you pay attention and care way to much about what others are doing, you are blocking yourself from figuring out who you are and what you are meant to be. You are making yourself believe that you have to do what others are doing; otherwise, you feel like there is something wrong with you.
The truth is, there is nothing wrong with you. The feeling solely stems from comparing yourself. You have to realize you are not like everyone else. You are you, and that is what makes you unique and beautiful.
Understand that EVERYONE on this Earth and Universe is different. Understand being different is the best thing you could do for yourself because EVERYONE goes through all types of experiences– every journey is unique.
Here are some tools to use or practice to stop comparing yourself and become aware of who you are and truly find peace within.
Realize that you are comparing yourself to others.
This is the tough part because you may not know that you are comparing yourself. The best way to realize is by noticing how you feel when you find out that something good happened to someone else. Observe what you immediately think and sense in your gut and heart.
Ask yourself the following questions when you find out something good happened to someone else:
- Do you feel happy for them?
- Do you think they deserved it?
- Do you feel jealous or upset?
- Do you get confused about your feelings?
- Do you suddenly feel bothered?
- Does your mood change from happy to grumpy?
- Do you believe that there is something wrong with you?
- Do you start to think that your life could be better?
Detox from Social Media
Social media is a significant reason for comparing. If you find feeling less of yourself when looking at the perfect photos of bloggers or even friends, know that it is just a photo. Pictures can be deceiving and your mind ‘ego’ is making things up by how you perceive others and how they are living their life. Thus, making you feel anxious, jealous, envious, unworthy, or even depressed.
Try to detox from social media! It doesn’t have to be forever, but long enough so that you can look into someone else’s photos and not have an adverse reaction. If you refuse to delete your social media platforms, another way is to remove those you compare yourself to on a regular.
Read the Book You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero
I read this book twice. I have it on my Kindle and paperback. It is a fantastic book, and I highly recommend you to read it! She dives into the topic of comparing and how it leads you to not be your true self. With twenty-seven bite-sized chapters, Sincero lays it all out through her honest and often, harsh words. Sincero schools you on how to live your best life in a realistic yet spiritual way and writes about her own experiences and of others. It is an easy, quick read but has all you need to know to stimulate change and purpose in your life.
Stay away from toxic-negative people
I am going to share with you one of the best advice my mom said to me many times growing up: stay away from negative people. They are only content when knowing others are miserable. From what I have experienced in my twenty-eight years of life– my mother is right. I’ve even lost friends because of how harmful they view life. Negative people are experts at comparing themselves to others, hence a reason for their negative behavior. Notice how negative people entertain their ‘ego’ by talking shit about others.
There are so many benefits when it comes to meditation. It is a tool that we should all practice daily. It helps us become aware of ourselves, and everything around us. It gives us perspective and opens our minds to different possibilities that we’ve never thought of before. It can even aide our physical health and among many things that I eager you to do your research and learn more.
Forgive yourself from all the negative feelings you get for comparing. We all do it. It is part of life. When you forgive you are accepting who you are and healing yourself from things that ails you; it sets you free.
Love yourself & build self-confidence
Loving yourself is what builds self-confidence. It is not easy, but as you flow through your experiences, the more you will learn, the better you’ll understand and appreciate yourself as a beautiful unique human.
The best thing you could do moving forward is to stop comparing and get to know yourself better. You should be your number one priority, not others.
If you meditate every day for five to ten minutes for the rest of your life, you will see a change in yourself for the better. All you need is time for yourself. All it takes is practice.