How to Gradually Build Self-Confidence

Insecurity is uncertainty and lack of self- confidence. People deal with their version of vulnerabilities everyday and it’s inevitable. I have lived my entire life being insecure and second-guessing everything I do. But, I have reached an age that I no longer want insecurity to define who I am. For so long, I have allowed it to consume me and bring me down, and for the first time, I am making progress and gradually building confidence.

My top three of my debilitating insecurities are:

  1. my body
  2. writing
  3. being comfortable taking photos.

Even though I am working on becoming confident, I will admit that it is hard. There will be days that you will feel insecure more than others, but those are the most important days that you’ll need to fight with your negative inner voice– let it know that you are not going to allow it to bring you down.

Below are five ways you can gradually develop self-confidence that has worked for me. One thing I advice is to be patient with yourself because building confidence is a journey, a transcendence to bettering who you are and what you are meant to be.

Becoming aware and admitting to what makes you second guess yourself and feel insecure.

Admitting to having insecurities is hard for some people because to them, it is a sign of weakness, but it isn’t; it is an indication of strength. You are capable of making your life better; it all depends on fully acknowledging your capabilities and not bringing yourself down. Start telling yourself “I am capable.” instead of “I am incapable” or “I can’t.”

Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Author Jen Sincero in her book You are a bad Ass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life quotes, “Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life. ” Why? Because you are not living a unique life. Instead of being your leader, writing your script, you are a follower and letting others lead because you are comparing yourself to them and their life. It is not realistic; it isn’t you.

Use or Don’t use Social Media.

Use – If you are like me and are insecure about what others think about you, then social media is a great platform to help build your confidence. Posting what you want, regardless of what others think, can help you become more secure with yourself because you are showing the world who you are no matter what they think of you.

Don’t use – If you go to social media and continually comparing yourself to others, then I do not recommend using social media; give it a break.

Don’t care what others think of you, even people closest to you.

Why waste time and energy on thinking about what others think? Are they helping you better yourself? If not, don’t care.

Stay away from negative people.

I am going to share with you one of the best advice my mom said to me many times growing up: stay away from negative people. They are only content when knowing others are miserable. From what I have experienced in my twenty-seven years of life– my mother is right. I’ve even lost friends because of how harmful they view life. I couldn’t bear listening to constant negativity, so I distanced myself. If you have to do the same, do it!

Gratitude Journals

Practicing gratitude is helpful because it gives a different perspective about yourself, and generally, on life.  You become more aware of who you are and able to appreciate the beauty in living abundantly. I recommend the following journals:

The Five Minute Journal: A Happier You in 5 Minutes a Day – great for gratitude and accountability.

Start Today Journal by Rachel Hollis- best for motivation and setting goals.

Love yourself.

Loving yourself is an essential guideline because it is not possible to build confidence if you do not love yourself. Love yourself by doing things that positively benefits you and makes you better.

CONCLUSION

There is nothing better in life than living it the way you want and should. To do that, you have to build confidence and love yourself. Don’t waste time and as the author, Rachel Hollis says Start Today.

Reach out to me at glenys.boyne@gmail.com

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